By Colin Druce-McFadden
Patients awaiting a heart transplant nowadays are in a rough spot. Only two in a hundred are eligible for a new organ right now, which leaves a lot of folks on the life-threatening waiting list. But now, after 15 years in the making, a new artificial heart is about to hit the market — one coated in cow meat.
The new beef-bearing heart has been developed by the French company Carmat — in hopes that a cow-coated artificial organ will outlive current models. The problem with current artificial hearts is that they tend to wear down over time when their mechanical parts come into contact with your innards. Cow meat, it is hoped, will bridge this gap.
The heart-healthy beef-bot organ is already beginning human trials, which means that the first cyber-cow people will soon be awakening from life saving operations. Be not afraid, people of Earth. The robo-cow folks mean us no harm. They're simply the first people who will be given the honor of rocking to the bovine-buffered beat of their own drum.
The rest of us will have to wait for at least a year for the option of a cow-coated heart. The first of Carmat's hearts will likely be market-ready by the end of 2014, and will cost roughly 200,000 dollars a pop.